Sometimes I wish I wasn’t born as a pretty girl, you know. So I can value everything I had in my life.
Like lots of good men I’ve wasted, lots of friends I’ve abandoned. Yeah, I’m not perfect, I make mistakes.
I think I always known as a girl with beautiful face. I just want people to know me as something else than just a beautiful face. Maybe because I’m funny, or a person with a beautiful mind or maybe a good friend.
Sometimes, beauty is curse. People will judge you, maybe when you get something and they will start talking like, “of course she got it, they picked her cause she has a beautiful face.” Maybe it’s true sometimes, but what if I got it because I’m qualified for it? People won’t see that. Being a girl with beautiful face isn’t always a pleasure.
Her bow is drawn
to the worlds of dark;
where arrows spring
and miss their mark.
She’ll turn their heads-
but not their hearts.
I’m not going to be the girl you marry.
I’ll be the memory you have when you propose to her. As you slide that ring on her finger you’ll think about that time we got dressed in our swankiest threads and had a horrible time at that party so we came back home and sat in an empty bath tub drinking whiskey outta the bottle talking about our childhood dreams.
I’m not going to be the girl you marry. I’ll be that memory whenever you and her get in an argument. you’ll recall our first fight and the endless glares and icy tones. Repetition of words like RESPECT and WHY rung through the stillness of the air. We almost ended that night. Thankfully you stopped me from walking out of that door.
I’m not going to be the girl you marry. I’ll be that memory when you have your first child. When you and your wife are picking out names you’ll remember our talk about our future. Our apartment layout and first pet. A dog named Pascal because I’m allergic to cats.
I’m not going to be the girl you marry. I’ll be the girl you fall for when you are too young to understand what falling really is. You’ll fuck up and lose me. You won’t realize it until a while later. But when you do, you’ll think about me everyday. Forever."
That’s what really scares me.
Falling in love is easy. Having sex is easier. But bumping into someone that can spark your soul - that shit is rare.
You could fuck four, five, all the people in a god damned room and you’d only feel a connection with one. Or none at all.
And what sucks is despite the undeniable real magnetic pull between the two of you, more often than not, you don’t end up together.
I’m afraid I won’t meet anyone else I can connect with.
I’m scared it’ll be just you."